A Mid July Day In New Mexico
By Jessica Nichols 2014

     You know, as we get older, things start to happen to our bodies that, I believe, was NEVER part of the design plan of humanity. We all get certain aches and pains, we just don’t have the same elasticity we did when we were younger and we certainly can’t eat like we used to! Once such a thing happened to me in my early 40’s. Here is a little somethin' I wrote surrounding that time in my life…..!!!

     ‘It feels like I’m walking on marbles all the time’, I told my doctor. After several visits, the doctor diagnosed me with ‘Morton’s Neuroma’, a condition caused by wearing pointed high heel shoes, among other things. At that time I was a worship leader and I wore pointed high heel shoes a lot! The reason if felt like I was walking on marbles is because I was! The casing around the nerves in my feet had ‘exploded’ and my body had built something like a tumor around it. REALLY, REALLY PAINFUL! The treatment was to get cortisone shots in my feet around the tumors…..sometimes THAT was more painful that the actual disease. The shots went on for 10 weeks, driving back and forth 80 miles each way to the doctor… I truly felt stressed, overwhelmed, and defeated! Many times I had to drive by myself, I felt so very alone!!!

     On this particular day the pain was so excruciating, so piercing that I could hardly walk. I had an appointment to get my shots, yet no one could go with me. Mike, my husband, tried to change his schedule so as to go with me but on this day it just wasn’t possible. Feeling very much alone I went by myself, got the shots and started my 80 mile journey back home. Because we live in the desert, some days are warm, some are hot and some are unspeakable! On this day it seemed that the blistering heat was coming t h r o u g h  t h e  w i n d o w  o f  m y  c a r shouting ,”HELLLLLLLOOOOOOOOO! Don’t you just LOVE mid-July in the deserts of New Mexico?”

     Well, I grew up in Arizona so I should be used to my skin melting off, but today was different. Today I was hurting so bad that all I wanted a cold drink and a mommy!!! You see, my dad had passed away and my mom decided that she didn’t want daughters anymore. So she had informed my sisters and I that we were no longer part of her family. The death of a loved parent can be devastating, but when a parent tells you they don’t want you anymore, that you’re dead to them, it can make you question every relationship in your life. Every human being has a desire to be loved by the one who gave birth to them no matter HOW OLD you are. My mother didn’t want me anymore… HELLO COUNSELING!!

     Well, it’s been many years since the ‘family divorce’, but on THIS day in mid-July,  I wanted a mommy! I was tired and hurting both physically and emotionally. Every fiber of my being cried out “I want a mommy!!!” AS I began to give way to my tears, I heard myself saying, “GOD, Where’s my mother? Why don’t I have a mom to comfort and encourage me, to treat me like a loved child?” I felt like a lost child, like an orphan who’s heart had been toyed with by her very own mother. “WHERE’S MY MOM, GOD???”
Through my tears and my hearts cry, I heard that beloved voice, that I am so familiar with, say to me, “I’m right here, Jessica. I will be your mother as well as your Father.” Then He gently reminded me of Matthew 23:37. The desire He had to gather Jerusalem to Himself is the same desire He has for me; To draw me under His wing as “a mother hen would her chicks.” He didn’t say ROOSTER, He said MOTHER HEN.
Then He reminded me of all the Godly woman He had placed in my life, not to replace my mother, but to mother me in seasons of my life, as I needed a mom. Then He said to ‘go and do likewise’!

     So, if YOU are a lost child, an orphan of sorts and whether that happened by your choice or not, I HAVE GOOD NEWS FOR YOU! We have a God who WANTS us. It is my honor and privilege to tell you about Him. We are told in Isaiah 49:15-16 that our mothers CAN forget us, BUT HE NEVER WILL! There is a picture of YOU on the palm of His hand, so every time He opens His hand, He thinks of YOU! What love… this means that in His family there are no accidents or mistakes!!! Now, every time I see my sweet sisters, I see MY mom. When my precious daughter hugs me and tells me she’s so glad that we’re close, I see MY mom. When my daughter in law responds to me loving and gentle tones, I see MY mom. I see MY mom in every nurturing moment of my life, whether I receive that nurturing moment, or I’m giving one. The point is, when nurturing moments come, they are our ‘like a mother hen’ God. What a blessing! So now I know that the past can’t get any worse and future is sunny and bright for me…..much like a mid-July day in New Mexico. !!!

Matthew 23:37 “ Jerusalem, Jerusalem, who kills the prophets and stones those who are sent to her! How often I wanted to gather your children together, the way a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, and you were unwilling.

Isaiah 49:15-16 “Can a woman forget her nursing child! And have no compassion on the son of her womb?!
Even these may forget, but I will not forget you! “Behold, I have inscribed you on the palms of My hands;Your walls are continually before Me!